John Lydon got a fleabite on his penis.
The former Sex Pistols frontman loves to leave the front door of his Venice Beach villa open so local wildlife is free to explore, but he was left with a painful itch when one of them carried a parasite into his abode.
He told Mojo: “That’s where the squirrels come in and walk around. Even little birds hop in now and again when they fancy a peanut.
“I don’t touch wild creatures or turn them into pets, I leave them alone – and them me.
“[But a flea] bit my willy. No, the squirrel didn’t bite me, it was the flea. I wouldn’t let a squirrel near my penis. My God! I’m a married man!”
The 64-year-old rocker’s weight fluctuates due to a blood sugar condition but he joked his figure has been ballooning since he was terrified by a hallucination he experienced while addicted to crystal meth in the 1990s.
He said: “Woah that stuff sends you scatty. I fiddled about with it for a whole. Oh my god, I’ll tell you when I knew how bad it was.
“One night I was looking down at my legs and they were hardly there, just two thin threads of white cotton. I thought, ‘That’s not how I know myself…’ Which is why I’ve spent the whole time since then getting fatter and fatter! Haha!”